Let’s Study English With Code Geass!
Hey, Japanese kids! Heard about that new English language craze that’s sweeping the nation… AND the world? Want to try speaking in those cool English phrases, but don’t know any? Well, don’t worry! Cause we of Oi, Hayaku! have come up with a simple and awesome program that will allow YOU to use English like a native speaker! This is all done through the use of that hit anime, Code Geass and it’s even-bigger-of-a-hit anime, Code Geass R2! Go around with the cool kids and show off your intensive vocabulary! Use phrases like “Yes, my Lord!” and “All hail Lelouch!” to get ALL the girls! Because, you see, girls LOVE men with an extensive knowledge of words! Just take a look at this graph that shows how the length of your vocabulary affects the girls you get in real life! After all, who wants virgins in heaven when you can get the bitches NOW?
After all, everyone knows that graphs make everything better, AND prove stuff that… uh, needs to be proved.
Now, without ado, let’s get to your English lessons! First, to make things easier, let’s try starting with simple words. Yes, that’s right, words.
Bunnygirl
Japanese girls are very good banigaru! So kawaii!
Lolicon
Lelouch is very much roricon. He likes little girls.
Maid
Sayako-san is a meido ninja garu. She is very skillful in what she does.
Melonpan
Kallen has a very nice melonpan! I wonder if it does not bother her while she is piloting her Guren?
Moe
Tenshi-sama is so moe! Fuck you if you do not think so.
Orange
No matter what happens, an orenji will always be orenji.
Now, let’s try to use more than one English word at a time! After all, you’ve mastered words, but what good are words if you can’t string them along in an attempt to woo the ladies?
Deliciously Flat Chest
I do not see anything there!
Knight the Zero
Because sometimes, being simply the Knight of Zero isn’t good enough.
Finally, let’s take it to the FINAL LEVEL! Once you’ve mastered these simple phrases, even the likes of Stephen Hawking will bow down before your intelligence!
“All Hail Britannia!”
It is good to have loyal feelings to your country.
“ALL HAIL LELOUCH!”
ALL HAIL LELOUCH! ALL HAIL LELOUCH! ALL HAIL LELOUCH! ALL HAIL LELOUCH! ALL HAIL LELOUCH!
“I CONTINUE TO FIGHT!”
Because he is never giving up, Jeremiah-san is very brave.
“Nani, My Hani?”
I wonder what is going on, my lovely person.
“OH GEASS NO!”
When things are at their worst and you cannot express the amount of anguish you are feeling in Japanese, try going “OH GEASS NO!” to the people around you!
There, you’ve now learned all there is to learn about English, and in less than an hour! Compulsory English training in schools? Please. Everyone knows that with this program, learning English is as easy as going 1, 2, 3… except in YOUR language, which would make it ichi, ni, san! Now, go out into the vast world in order to ASTOUND and AMAZE everyone with what you’re capable of! What are you waiting for? Go, and get yourself a beautiful “melonpan meido bunnygirl” girlfriend NOW!
Warning: This post is written in English, and any Japanese people wishing to learn English from this post must have prior knowledge of English beforehand. Furthermore, some of the vocabulary we teach you might not be actual English, or not English at all. We of Oi, Hayaku! are not responsible for anything that might happen to you while attempting to put your knowledge to the test. But don’t worry. We have complete faith in this system, and are willing to promise to you that it will work. We just don’t want to have to deal with anything that - might - go wrong. Besides, if something goes wrong, it’s you, not us. Thank you, and good bye.
Brought to you by Oi, Hayaku! for your pleasure. Wait for our new program, “Learning Fragmented English With TypeMoon”, giving you such catch phrases as Blue Blue Glass Moon, Under the Crimson Air and featuring the famous song “Unlimited Blade Works” by the hit J-Pop group Archer and the Shirous.
Good job ripping off my trademark.